I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
