don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
