OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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