Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
