At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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