youre lurking in front of me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
