Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
