I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
