just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
