butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
