you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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