The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
worst night to have a conscience
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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