conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm really busy with my period
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