i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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