Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
