Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
