You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
