checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
