I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
