I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
