what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
