Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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