I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
