Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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