At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
