I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
