are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
this is an emotional support booty call
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
