But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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