Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
