There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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