you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
