just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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