he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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