I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
