I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
