so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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