Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
