OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Who died my cat blue again?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
