i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
