When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
