problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
