every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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