I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
