Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
