her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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