Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
