WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
