I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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