I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
