after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
